DNA Doesn’t Make You Family. Your Actions Do.

Today is one of those days when I just don’t want to be bothered. It’s not the “normal” I don’t want to be bothered, it’s the “I am spent to the limit’s of my self control, and my illness, and I might die, or murder you, or both,  if I don’t get some time to myself.” kind.

After a few months of not feeling well, and in general, just having too much “fog” in my head, I felt a spark. I was cheery, and clear headed, so I began writing a post about holiday spirit, and pacing yourself. (HA!)

Needless to say, I didn’t get very far. Shit happened.

Three days before Christmas, my 72 year old sister-in-law’s rented house was set-afire, by someone smoking in bed. (That’s all I’m gonna say about that…for now.) There were no human fatalities, just minor burns, and some smoke inhalation. Four people we displaced into the cold dark night, with just a small bag of incidentals (Soap, toothbrush, shampoo) and a couple hundred bucks on a card for hotels, or whatever, from the Red Cross.

Think about that for a second. Whether you are 29, with 3 kids, or 65, and single (…and what about your dog(s) or other pets?) – What would you do? Do you go to stay with family? Do you go to a hotel? What if you literally have no other cash available to you than the $200 that is on the Red Cross card? What if you have no family?

Luckily, friends, and family stepped in. She is safe, warm, fed, and has all of her medical needs in order.

The important thing is, that no one was killed. The next most important thing, is that the family got together, tried to help, and for about 5 minutes, everyone was working together. Some of us still are. Things are getting done.

What I don’t understand, is why, in times of tragedy, “family” members crawl out of the woodwork to create havoc, and try to insert themselves into the mix. No one has seen you in years, you haven’t visited, checked in on, or otherwise been there for anyone, so what gives you the right to make threats, harass, and create GoFundMe accounts on her behalf? NOTHING. You have not offered to house, feed or clothe this person, you have not driven/flown here to help, and you have the colossal balls to call yourself family because you share DNA. Family is way more than DNA. You should just help. No conditions, no arguing, no rush to do more than the other person. It’s not a competition, it’s someone’s life. This is a 72 year old woman, who has basically lost everything.

We do not need to hear about YOUR illness, or YOUR anxiety, or YOUR PTSD. We do not care if YOU don’t get along with other family members who are in the process of helping. Just help. Send her a check, donate to the (Official) GoFundMe. Bring her some food, or gift cards, take her out for lunch to cheer her up….anything.

Although you don’t know it, because you are never around, most of the people who are currently helping, are also chronically ill. Some have full time jobs, full time kids, anxiety, and PTSD as well, and if WE can find the strength, energy, presence of mind, and time to help, so can you. So STFU, and do something helpful.

All of that being said, here is the link to her GoFundMe: Help Needed After Fire Destroys Home

 

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Let’s just call it what it is: CHRONIC LYME DISEASE.

Yes, it does exist, and no matter what you are told, it’s NOT all in your head.

I was reminded of this, quite abruptly, while watching “The Bleeding Edge” on Netflix. Follow the link, and read the article. If you have any kind of man made parts in your body, brace yourself. Then, come back, and read my rant.

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