Who are you?

It’s ok to be you. It’s ok to be different, and feel differently. There is no “normal”. The more we try to fight our own nature to fit in, or to conform to someone else’s idea of how/who we should be, the more damaged we become.

Today, I saw this posted on a friend’s timeline on Facebook:

I was told today that I can only know myself through someone else, I guess I’ll never know who the F$#?k I am.

Continue reading “Who are you?”

Kratom: Wonder Leaf, or Deadly Crutch? A Review of “A Leaf of Faith”.

In “A Leaf of Faith”, Chris, who struggles with chronic pain, and addiction on a daily basis, delves into the Kratom debate.  His interviews with doctors, scientists, and politicians, on both sides of the debate, are thought provoking,

I have a terrible head cold, so last night, I was scrolling through Netflix, and found a documentary with an interesting name: “A Leaf of Faith”. I had no idea what it was about, it is a new release, and I saw the word “Kratom” in the description. Discussions about the use of Kratom have been popping up all over, and when something like this comes along, I have to know more.  Continue reading “Kratom: Wonder Leaf, or Deadly Crutch? A Review of “A Leaf of Faith”.”

Our Drugs – Part 1 – SSRI’s: Prozac®, et al.

Follow me back in time…

Five years ago, while seeking only the 2nd opinion about my illness, I went to an MD, who told me that all of my symptoms were psychosomatic. In his opinion, my symptoms were the result of increased stress, and depression.

(This assumption, by many a health care professional, may in fact, be doing more harm than good.)


He wrote me a prescription for Prozac®. Continue reading “Our Drugs – Part 1 – SSRI’s: Prozac®, et al.”

You should see this.

Last night, I turned on Netflix, and much to my surprise, #Unrest had been added. It is a film about living with ME/CFS. I have posted about it before.  I was so happy to see it there, because I was itching to watch it. I too have been diagnosed with ME/CFS, and as with “Under Our Skin“, a documentary about Lyme Disease, it is nice to see something I can relate to, as well as learn how others have coped.

Within the first 5 minutes, I was struck sideways by Jennifer’s comment while she was filming herself struggling. It went something like this: “I know you are wondering why, I am filming myself, if I am so sick.” Her answer was simple: “I feel like someone should see this.”

So, she kept filming. The result, is a poignant, and relatable film, that everyone who has a chronic illness, or medically treats someone with a chronic illness, should watch.

To many people, our illnesses are not visible. When we are in the throes of a bad day, we “disappear”, as Jennifer remarks. We go to our beds, and our couches, with the shades drawn, and suffer in silence. Most of us, doing it alone, or with people who don’t “get it”. No one really sees our struggle, or feels our pain. No one understands how hard it is to decide to live every day, hoping to be around long enough to find a cure, or a treatment that works. Yes, I said, “decide to live”. Many people have taken their own lives due to ME/CFS.

ME/CFS, along with many other diseases, or “syndromes”, are most common in women. In the past, and still, in some countries, it is deemed “hysteria”, and is considered a mental disorder. A disorder, that can, if recommended by the wrong physician, result in the sufferer commited to a psychiatric ward.

Not everyone with ME/CFS, (or any chronic illness, for that matter), has the same symptoms. This is why some of us are bedridden, and some are not. This also adds to the stigma. It gives people the impression that we are faking it. Some commedians, and news media have also eluded to it being “just laziness” on our part.

Trust me, we are not lazy. Even from our beds we get things done. Someone asked me, how I can post so much. Well, I really don’t. Yes I may publish 3 posts in a day, but that’s only because I had them saved up. I write, I stop, I rest. I might be able to work on them tomorrow, or I might not. I may not be able to post again for two weeks. I just never know.

We blog, and make videos, because “Someone should see this.”. The world needs to be made aware, that millions of people, 85% of which are women, have ME/CFS. We do it, to stay connected to our spoonie friends, who may be our only friends. We do it so that we do not feel useless. We do it because it gives us the will to live.

Yes, we know how rediculous this may seem to you.

We cannot vanish into the background of life. We must fight for ourselves, and the ones that will come after us.

Bottom line, watch Unrest. Make your family, and friends watch it. Spread awareness.






Every 40 seconds.

Every 40 seconds, someone commits suicide. – An unfortunate time to re-post.

We don’t like to think about it, or talk about it, but the fact of the matter is, that roughly, every 40 seconds, a person takes their own life. A fact we should all be aware of, especially during the holidays.

More often than not, we are surprised. We ask ourselves why. We look back, at their behavior for signs, or anything that will give us the answer. Chances are that we will never know exactly why a person would want to die, unless they have left a detailed note. No one can truly get inside another person’s head, and understand what they are thinking, or feeling.

Continue reading “Every 40 seconds.”